Germans tend to have a general animosity towards rich people and idealize some kind of classless Utopia of all people living with similar means. Germans believe that behind every great fortune, there must be a crime. In America, we revere these criminals for their hard work.

Americans have come to terms with the fact that, although all men are created equal, their ability to bring home the bacon diverges immensely, but that the free market which dictates their salaries is the best way to spread the wealth the furthest; be it equal or not. The only time Americans find the system unfair is in the case of professional athletes, who get paid to do the things the rest of us have to pay to do.

In 1987 Michael Douglas famously told us, “Greed is good.” And up until recently, we sort of believed him. Now Americans are considering some regulation to throttle that back some. In the mean time, greed has become only good provided that you don’t wreck the global financial system with your actions. In America, the top 1% richest people control 34% of the wealth of the country, and that is just fine by us, because they deserve it. Probably.

In America you “flip the bird”, you don’t “show bird”.  If you start pecking at your brain with your pointer finger, you are the one who looks pretty dumb to us, not the other way around. In general we aren’t so elitist about intelligence, so we don’t have a standard gesture to indicate your opinion of your adversary’s relative cranium size.

We do have a sign to tell everyone around you that you believe someone is crazy. With your pointer finger pointed at the side of your head, make circular motions originating with your elbow revolving around your ear. Frantically waving your hand in front of your own face, makes you yourself look pretty crazy in our eyes. We will probably assume you are trying to play peek-a-boo after taking too much methamphetamine.

If you start squeezing your thumb, we will have assumed that you just smashed it with a hammer, because we cross our index and middle fingers while we hope for good luck. Another gesture that will leave us pondering about what you could possibly be talking about, is the gesture where you repeatedly pull your skin down under your eye with your index finger. What is that about, anyway?

If you want to politely get some one’s attention, as in when you know the correct answer to your boss’s rhetorical question in a meeting, do no put your hand up in the air and start snapping your fingers. Americans consider snapping fingers to get attention to be deeply condescending and a bit rude. Instead just hold your hand high in the air and wait patiently until someone begrudgingly yields the opportunity to speak to you. American kids generally have some trouble with patience and begin making an “ooh ooh ooh” sound like a seal,  while struggling to force their right arm even higher in the air with their left hand. This, however, is not advisable in a board meeting. Also, once the meeting is over, do not start knocking your knuckles on the table in agreement.

In Germany, it is not okay to be a nazi, but in America it’s quite alright for a couple of reasons.

First of all, Americans value the freedom of speech to such an extreme degree, that we allow people to say whatever stupid things they might want to say. So as long as you don’t check the box on the form to enter America stating that you are or were a member of the Nazi party, you are basically free to spout out whatever comes to your mind as soon as you have made it through customs. We will think you are crazy, but we won’t stop you.

But the most important reason, why being a nazi in America is okay, is that the word has a totally different meaning here. Over the years the term nazi has come to indicate any unfavorable person who simply enforces the rules too strictly, especially when the majority of people don’t particularly care about adhering to the rule in question, which is almost always this case in the United States.

So don’t be too surprised the first time you hear someone referred to as a grammar nazi, a yard nazi, or a soup nazi; it’s really not as bad as it sounds.